When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead
When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead
By Neal Martin/ September 15, 2015
Last Updated April 27, 2023
Life’s a drag, no two ways about it. Maybe not 24/7, but often enough, life feels like trying to inhale the world’s most unappetizing lollipop—donkey-flavored, extra large, and hairier than a werewolf’s armpit.
You won’t hear that kind of candor much in this era of self-help and “good vibes only” mentalities.
For the relentless positivity-pushers who preach rewiring your brain to achieve a so-called “blissful existence” (aka: a fantastical, unicorn-infested utopia), uttering the words “life sucks” might trigger a physical reaction like the one below…
…followed by a verbal eye-roll along the lines of, “Geez, someone needs to amp up their daily affirmations,” or “Whoa, negativity alert! Time to channel your inner Zen master.”
Well, maybe I’m not in the mood to be a freakin’ positivity powerhouse right now! Maybe you need a break from your relentless, self-help-infused pep talks!
Life does, in fact, blow chunks for a bunch of people, quite often. No denying it.
Pretending otherwise won’t magically make it all sunshine and rainbows.
Sadly, in this age of reality-avoidance, we often hide from life’s harsh truths behind a glossy façade of lies and an impenetrable fortress of escapism—whether it’s the fibs we tell ourselves or the never-ending distractions on offer.
But guess what? Life can still be a bummer, even when your coping mechanisms barely mask its sucktacular nature.
We’re born, we live, we die. What’s the point? Why even bother?
‘Cause we don’t really have a choice, that’s why.
The Great Cosmic Joke
Ah, the cruel irony of human existence. So often, it can feel unbearable, pointless, and devoid of meaning, yet we’re inexplicably driven by some inner force to keep trudging through the muck.
We soldier on, enduring a rollercoaster of pain and suffering, right up until the curtain falls, never knowing if any of it mattered.
Sure, some folks hit the eject button and call it quits.
But here’s a sobering fact about suicide: Almost everyone who survives a suicide attempt reports the same thought as they took the plunge – “Fuck me, what have I done? I don’t really wanna die!”
Suicide may seem like an option, but in reality, it’s a desperate cry for help that tragically claims lives before the cavalry arrives.
And even if you dodge the Reaper, life’s still waiting to sucker punch you. Now, you’ve got guilt and shame piled onto your already overflowing plate of suckitude. Talk about a lousy deal!
So, we’ve established life can be a steaming pile of “ugh.” The million-dollar question is: What do we do about it, aside from plodding along like malfunctioning robots?
Discover Your Hilarious Purpose
The only way I’ve found to battle the existential dread is by discovering a purpose so funny, it could leave the universe in stitches.
Allow me to wring this comedy metaphor like an old soggy dish cloth until it screams for mercy… or something.
I’ve dabbled in money, family, drugs, sex, and a smorgasbord of unmentionables, but an outrageously amusing purpose is the only thing that keeps me going—or, at the very least, makes me snort-laugh through life’s tribulations.
Purpose has been my life’s comedic relief when meaning seemed as scarce as hens’ teeth.
Purpose lets you declare (with as much certainty as humanly possible), “This is why I’m here, so let’s get this show on the road!”
In my experience, that purpose has to be as unique as your sense of humor. Living solely for others isn’t a strong enough punchline. You can be there for others, but only after you’ve cracked yourself up first. There’s no joy in dedicating your life to being everyone else’s straight man.
Now, you might think I’m off my rocker—especially if you have a spouse and kids like I do. But hear me out.
All I’m saying is, you can’t really help others until you’ve tickled your own funny bone first.
That’s not selfish or narcissistic—it’s just being hilariously honest.
When life’s got me in a headlock, I try to remind myself of my gut-busting purpose.
Sure, sometimes it takes a while to remember, especially after a soul-crushing emotional experience that’s tossed me off life’s comedy stage.
But the moment I recall the “why” of my life, I stop obsessing over the “what for,” and life seems to suck a whole lot less.
There’s more power in that kind of candor than in forcing yourself to think positively. That fluff only conceals the pain—it doesn’t confront it head-on.
To tackle the pain of existence, you have to stare it down, acknowledge its presence, and then laugh in its face.
The pain is real.
But so is the healing power of a hysterical purpose.
Slather on that comical purpose like a soothing balm, and you’ll find your balance and see things more clearly.
Eventually, you’ll think, “Shit happens. So what?”
(Pro tip: Don’t forget your sense of humor. Laughing at a situation helps loosen its grip and reveals just how absurd and ridiculous life can be most of the time.)
The Comedy of Life’s Lessons
There’s a good chance that the curveballs life throws at us are part of some cosmic gag reel. I’m not 100% sold on the idea, but it’s a theory worth exploring.
When I examine the painful moments in my life, I realize the pain was like a punchline, nudging me to change or learn something from the experience.
If I keep making the same blunders that bring me pain, it’s a sign I need to quit being the butt of the joke.
If I endure a traumatic experience, it’s probably because there’s a life lesson hidden in the script.
It’s all pretty logical when you think about it.
What’s often challenging, though, is heeding these warnings and learning the comedic timing of life. As humans, we sometimes seem destined to repeat our bloopers until our final curtain call. That’s just life.
But the better you get at paying attention and learning your lines, the less life will feel like a tragedy.
That’s where personal development comes in—not the “manifest-yourself-a-mansion” kind, but the realistic kind. There’s a massive difference.
As I’ve mentioned before, a personal development program can arm you with the tools to become the kind of person who can best fulfill their hilarious purpose. The nature of your purpose will dictate the kind of comedic genius you are and the kind you need to become.
However, no matter how much personal development you undergo, life will still have its moments of pure slapstick.
For those times, you need the power of purpose—the power of “why”—to remind you why you’re here, cracking jokes on this cosmic stage.
Purpose is like a lifeboat in a sea of suffering, and let’s be real, it’s way easier to navigate in a boat than to tread water while waves of misery crash over you, leaving you feeling like you’re drowning in a pool of sad trombone noises.
When everything else is as unpredictable as a stand-up comedy set, your sense of purpose will remain your trusty punchline.
At least until the aliens arrive and inform us that everything we thought we knew is utterly and hilariously wrong.
For now, remember your purpose, keep your head up, and carry on soldier…
17 responses to “When Life Sucks… Kill Yourself! Or Just Do This One Thing Instead”
Nothing will change. 47 years of depression and poverty my life SUCKS. UGLY people have no purpose so why bother. The world hates UGLY PEOPLE. Even my psychiatrist said there is no FIX for ugly. Death is the only solution. Thanks but I didn’t have to read the entire article to know this is another bullshit website.
I agree! Yes you can commit suicide! People gi e life changes as reasons not to. It reali,I g that by the time we get to this point, life has become meaningless; we no longer give a shot! Too many people have … well, you & I get it! Best of luck in all your endeavord@
YOU SHOULDENT GO AROUND SAYING KILL YOUR SELF PEOPLE ACTUALLY DO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOUVE DONE
And if we can’t find a “Sense of Purpose” ??
This article is just the same as the other “self help” garbage, just worded differently.
everything sucks…. so fuck it… welcome to reality…
Not trying to be “that guy” but Jesus opened up the door for me when I felt shut in by everything g around me. He actually is real.
I’ve noticed a lot of replies on here have been negative so I’ll give my positive review. I understood what you were saying and I agree. I’ve been in that hospital bed before and I know giving up isn’t the answer. Its not about things getting better it’s about trying to enjoy what you have. I just want to be happy 🙁 that’s my purpose. Chin up soldiers.
When I tried to kill myself at age 23 I felt no regrets as I waited for my chosen method to work, but the universe or random chance (they may be the same thing) intervened. Life hasn’t been one long giggle since then but I’ve muddled through and now, as my age finds me much closer to a natural conclusion, I can see the black humour of the situation, since now I wouldn’t mind having a few more years than I’m likely to get. I don’t believe there is a God (although there may be gods) but if there is one, I think his/her/their message is, “This ain’t about what you want, it’s about what you do with what you get.”
Your article is about “enduring a tragic experience “ and “ examin(ing) a painful experience “, and we all go through those times. Living with a feeling of sadness so constant it makes you numb, is different. When your thoughts are controlling you, and not the other way around, you just get tired. At least that’s how I feel. It feels painful, and suicide would be a relief.
Yes. People can give you all these fixes. They don’t get that we or I have tried to be fucking positive. I persevere. I’m not a quitter. I’m creative. I’m not afraid of hard work to get myself out of hard times. I’ve tried to make rational responsible decisions about my life.
Shit happens. And then it happens again and again and again until your boxed on this corner. I have done everything I know how to do to save myself.
When you get down it’s difficult, it will stretch the limits of your mind. I ind myself talking to that elusive higher power God, the universe, whatever, saying look you know I’m trying here. Give me a hint. Could I get that much. I’m willing here. I just need some fucking thing. Spin me in a circle and point me in the direction of how to save my own ass. I don’t want anyone to do it for me. I just want the chance to do it for myself.
It either doesn’t exist or has a sick fucking sense of humor. Watching me grasping at anything to dig my way out of this pit. Oh no. Watch my anxiety get so bad I’m either going to have a stroke or nervous breakdown. And I get nothing. Not a whisper. Ive come to the conclusion I’ve wasted my life. Searching for God. Who’s in charge and does it matter. Jokes on me. Been talking to myself believing in fairy tales. I’m on my own. What ever it is or whatever it isn’t better stay away when or if I find a solution. Don’t come sniffing around if I find a solution. With God’s like that I don’t need devils. Lean something my ass. I’ve had faith I’ve been patient I’ve trusted. I heard the devil is a liar. Seems this almighty power and the liar are one in the same. Or nothing at all. A tall tale to control the masses.
Nothing deserves worship or respect that promotes suffering like this. I don’t ever expect my life to be without obstacles hardship or pain. It comes with being human. It would have been nice if you picked in someone else for a chance. I see truly evil people breeze right through life without a care. Destroying other people lying cheating stealing and no consequence.
I’ve tried to be a decent human being. Help others, be respectful, carry my own weight. And I couldn’t catch a fucking break if my life depended on it.
Yes. I’m bitter. I’ve been at this too long. Years, struggling, fighting , anything I can for the slightest light to just have basic human necessities at this point. That seems to be too much to ask from anyone or anything whether real or imagined.
I’m to the point I can look fear and the powers that be in the face and say fuck you. I just don’t care. I know I have fought I have tried. I have persevered. I didn’t quit. And the asshole over there cheating keeps getting the prize. Make that make sense. It’s a tough bitter pill to swallow. I’m not mean I’m not ugly and I would not feel good about myself doing he things these people do to get ahead. But it makes me wonder if I’ve been doing it wrong all along. There is no reward for being a decent human being. Not hat I have expect one . It would have been nice if you didn’t kick me in the fucking gut or step on my back every damn time I tried to get up..
This is not fun for me. I’m not really learning anything except nice girls finish last. They don’t get picked, hard work isn’t enough, neither is determination. I’ve had enough. And until all these positivity and just find your fucking hilarious purpose promoting people can relate please shut up. Cause you don’t get it. You just don’t get it. Don’t tell me how great it is to suffer endlessly. Until you know what that feels like. You tell me if you could stay positive for years when every door is shut and locked and you want out you believe you can get out and you have worn yourself to the point of exhaustion and it just doesn’t happen. Do that . Experience that . Then you come back and sprinkle sunshine and tell me how it worked out so well. I call bullshit. Cause sometimes you can do every goddamned thing right and it doesn’t matter. The cheater still wins.
DARK URBAN FANTASY
HIRE MY COVER DESIGNER
STUFF I WRITE ABOUT
Audiobooks Author Updates Blogging Book Cover Design Characters Clive Barker Conspiracies Dark Fantasy Fiction Dark Fiction Dark Urban Fantasy Deadson Confidential Drakeverse Ethan Drake Series Fiction Writing H.R. Giger Hellblazer Horror Humor Influences Internet John Constantine Marketing Mastery Motivation Movies Music Mythology Negativity Non-Fiction Writing Personal Development Productivity Purpose Reviews Sandman Slim Self-Publishing Short Stories Social Media Spirtuality Subconcious Tropes TV Shows Urban Fantasy Writer's Doubt Writing Writing Voice